Affectionate Boy

Dear Micah,

               My son has a playmate that is overly affectionate to people. He not only hugs and kisses his mother and father a lot but he also does this with the other boys as well. There's no real problem and the other boys don't seem to mind, it just looks weird. I hate to call it sissy, because he doesn't seem to be a sissy-boy, but it doesn't seem quite normal. My husband is getting a little uncomfortable with our son playing with him. Should we say something to the little boy's parents?

Keeping an Eye Out

Dear Keeping an Eye Out,

               By all means say something to the parents, if you want to look like the biggest jack-ass in creation. And slap your husband for me for being such a stupid jerk. Even if the little boy was a "sissy-boy" your son is not going to catch it. What is going on is actually normal. In fact instead of it being something wrong on this child's part, it actually reflects something wrong on you and your husband's part. Studies show that boys are almost always the more affectionate and loving of the sexes. They cling to their parents, tell them they love them and shower them with kisses, way more so than girls. All of this lasts until around school age when little boys join other little boys and then social repression begins. Boys are instructed by their parents, teachers, churches, all adults involved to watch their words, actions, thoughts, feelings and demonstrations of love. The human connection gets suppressed because society feels it is unmanly for a boy to show affection, and this isn't just macho fathers, mothers are even more concerned with having a boy that's rough and tumble and "all-boy".   Ironic isn't it that women then later complain when their men are distant, removed and can't connect to them emotionally. So leave this child alone. His parents are trying to allow him to feel free and connected. It's the rest of you that are short-sighted and stupid. But don't worry, I am sure that society will squash all of this out of him very soon and then your husband won't have to be nervous anymore.

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