Another Tale of a Lovefool

 

Micah,
               My boyfriend keeps cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend. I just caught him for the second time and I don't know what to do. I asked him if he wanted out of the relationship the first time but he told me that he really loves me and that she doesn't mean anything to him, not the way I do. We've had some problems for a few months and so it isn't entirely his fault that he strayed.  I've been busy with school stuff (I'm in college) and I haven't had a lot of time for him lately. I don't want to break up with him, I want this to work. I thought about talking with her to see if I can get her to leave us alone? I don't know what I should do. We are planning on getting married in a year and I really want our marriage to start off right without suspicion or worry. So should I call her and arrange a face to face with her? Keep in mind that I do not want to end this relationship over this. I just want my man all to myself.
               Stacee
 
Dear Stupid...I mean Stacee,
               Once when I was around 13 years old I went to the grand opening of the Galleria Mall here in Birmingham.  I went with my Aunt Patricia and my grandmother and my little cousin Rebecca. At that time the mall had a large fountain in the center of it near the food court. While waiting for my aunt and cousin to get their lunch from the Chic-Fil-A counter, my grandmother and I ate our lunch by the fountain. As we ate our sandwiches and looked around at the newness of the mall, we saw a man walking towards us. He was in a hurry and was coming at a brisk pace with his gaze down at the floor. He hadn't noticed that he was walking in the direction of a line of decorative trees planted in the floor a few feet in front of the fountain. "He's about to walk right into that tree," my grandmother cried excitedly grabbing my arm. We sat transfixed, watching him come closer to that tree, eyes down, until he smacked his forehead into a limb and almost knocked himself down. We laughed out loud and thought it was pretty funny that he hadn't seen that big planted tree right in his path. We found it even funnier when we watched him resume his walk, still with his gaze down, and walk right into another one of those trees just moments after he had recovered from the first branch to the face. I thought we'd never stop laughing at that man. How many times would he have to be hit across the face with a tree limb before he realized he was walking down the wrong path? Stacee, you are as stupid as that man was back in 1986.   
               You have been smacked in the face twice now by the same tree branch. Your boyfriend is not supposed to be the man you marry. It sounds to me like he is supposed to be with his ex-girlfriend and you are the obstacle in their way. They keep being pulled back to each other, so why not step out of the path and let them go. Maybe you do love him, but it's a love that isn't going to be returned in a respectful or healthy way. You should have a man that wants only you, and you can have that if you don't stupidly waste part of your life with this fool. Let him go and find your own path, one with fewer tree branches to the face.

Return to Column >