Dear Micah,

               I'll keep my question short and simple...How do you stop loving someone after they've stopped loving you?

Hanging On

Dear Hanging On,

               The answer is simple...You don't. Okay, I lied, it's not that simple, but it still holds true. Loving someone can sometimes have very little to do with how they feel about you in return. You are clearly in love with someone who isn't currently loving you back. This leaves you two choices: Hang on to an unrequited love or let go and turn this into a learning experience. Only through doing the latter will you be able to move forward and ready yourself to love again with someone new. It's okay for love to end sometimes. Whenever a love ends it gives us the opportunity to assess it, find the mistakes we made that helped to kill it, and to identify the traits we were drawn to in the first place so that we know what we are looking for when the next candidate comes along. In my opinion I believe that you have to have had your heart broken at least once to ever really trust that you know what love really feels like. I know that everyone likes to believe in this mythical magical love that doesn't end, but the truth of the matter is that real love takes two people giving of themselves constantly--both equally committed to nurturing it and keeping it alive. If one person fails to uphold their end of it, the whole thing withers away leaving the one still in love dumbfounded. But that's all right. You can pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and try again with someone new. Remember that not everyone gets ONE great love that lasts a lifetime. Sometimes you get several smaller loves that fill up a lifetime and this was just one of those for you. So let go of it and get ready for the next one that's on its way.