Drop-By Friends

 

Dear Micah,
               We have some friends that drop by from time to time about an hour before we go to bed. Most of the time this happens after they have been out to dinner and don't feel like going home yet, so they come to our house. I like them, but I don't really feel like company at 9 o'clock at night. What's worse is we have to get up fairly early each morning and they don't seem to take the hint to leave at a reasonable hour. How do I tell good friends when it's time to go home?
Sleepy at midnight
Dear Sleepy,
               I don't know how you can tell good friends when it's time to leave, but I know how you can tell these people and it goes something like this..."Leave!"   These aren't good friends in my opinion. Let's break it down, shall we? They have gone out to dinner alone and then have dropped by unannounced to kill a couple of hours at your house before going home. If they enjoy your company so much why aren't you invited to dinner? Have you somehow led them to believe that you are afraid of restaurants? Do you have a nasty habit of eating with your feet making them feel embarrassed to dine with you? Do you stick people with the bill? If they enjoy visiting with you so much why are they not asking you along on the fun part of the evening? They are not good friends. Furthermore, it's just plain rude to keep you up so late when they know you have to get up early. So here's what I suggest:
               Let them, and all of your friends, know that you have a new rule to help people determine when it is, and isn't, appropriate to drop by.  "If the porch light is on, we are open to receiving guests, but if it is turned off, don't knock." Or you could just try the method my grandmother used to get rid of someone that had overstayed their welcome...She yawned, placed both hands on the arms of the chair, lifted herself up and said, "Well, I guess I'll go on in there and go to bed so ya'll can go home." 

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