Face in the Crowd

Dear Micah

               Yesterday I took some pictures at my nephews birthday party and I noticed that my son is making some kind of silly face in all of them. When I saw it I was reminded that he did the same thing in our Christmas pictures too. I remembered that I said something to him then about how he'd ruined our family pictures by making faces and using his fingers to make rabbit ears over his sister's head. That's why I can't understand why he would ruin my nephew's photos now. Is this just a boy thing? Will he grow out of this?
Concerned Mom
Dear Mom,
               Yes he will grow out of this. There aren't too many grown men who continue to make faces and throw up hand gestures during photographs, unless of course their new rap CD is about to drop. With that said, I don't think this problem should be written off as just a boy-thing either. I think it goes a little deeper than that. Although many kids will make faces or gestures that they think are funny from time to time in pictures, it isn't a constant behavior, maybe one out of five pictures at best. But for him to demonstrate this behavior every time he has a photo taken suggests that your son may be a little insecure and the insecurity is heightened when it comes time to have his picture taken. It is highly unlikely that your son truly believes that these ridiculous faces are actually funny, or that he will garner roaring laughter when people see him hold up two fingers over his sister's head. These are simply "nervous ticks", his way of attempting to look relaxed and nonchalant through something that is making him uncomfortable. You didn't say how old he is right now. Maybe he is at that awkward adolescent age where his body is gangly and strange and he really just doesn't want it documented. I'd suggest pulling out all of your family photos and examine them to see if this has been an on-going,  years-long behavior. In the meantime, if he were my son, I'd just try to use some psychology techniques to snap him out of it. Find a picture or two that was taken without his knowledge when he isn't making the faces. Just run across it "accidentally" while he's around and make a comment like, "You are such a good looking guy." When he asks what you are talking about, show him the picture and say something like, "I just snapped this randomly, but look how good you look in it." Now don't go too far to where he figures out what you're doing. Just slowly, casually, over time make some uplifting personal remarks about him. Build his confidence and see if his insecurities dissipate. If he starts to believe that no one is going to be critical of his appearance in pictures then maybe that clown that keeps showing up in them will leave.

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