Graying's Anatomy

 

I don't know how many of you keep old family photo albums lying around. I myself have never been one to want to look back very often, but not too long ago I ran across a bundle of old pictures.   I took a few minutes and sat down to look at them. What started out as an innocent romp through the past turned into utter dismay as I stared down at the 5x7 color proof that I was aging. In my mind I am perpetually about 24, just mature for my age. But once I saw the pictures of what I looked like at 24 I couldn't hide my real age from myself any more. And just as I was about to Google info on getting a face transplant, I ran across a picture of my Dad at my age now. That was the antidote. I look amazing compared to him. When my Dad was in his 40's, he looked like he was in his late fifties or early sixties. I look, (or at least think I look) like I am in my mid to late thirties. That's when I got very curious and started pouring through those old family albums that stay tucked away in a bottom drawer. I saw photos of one of my grandmothers at age 60. Then I instantly thought of several clients that I know today that are around that age and the differences are astounding.   I can name three women I know today that are older than my grandmother was in that picture from the 80's and they look as though they could be her daughters. Of course some of this is genetics, but most of it is not. 
            No one's appearance is actually aging anymore. Not to the extent it once did. When I was a kid, a 60 year old woman was gray-headed and frail looking. She got her hair washed and set on Saturday so she'd look good for church Sunday and just picked it out with a comb all week until the next Saturday. The biggest activity in her daily life was going to the doctor or a funeral. Things have certainly changed in a short time. Today I know a 66 year old woman who spends her spare time riding one of her several motor scooters out on the highways. I know a 70 year old that you can't pull away from the golf course. I know a 72 year old woman who is constantly traveling the world. And I know a 58 year old lady that just started a brand new career.   Age doesn't grab us by the collar and shake the life out of us anymore.   Instead we embrace each new year and find that though we fantasize about when our bodies were firmer and more youthful, few of us would actually want to go back and live those years again. And as a hairdresser, I credit the beauty industry for this. I think we owe a lot of our newfound longevity to our hair styles and hair colors. If we don't look old, we won't feel old, and the ads we see tell us we don't have to be old.
            Too often we hear such awful things about the beauty industry. How they glorify youth and depict overt sexuality. We hear how advertisers only cater to the young and how you're not important to the world markets past a certain age. All of this may be true in our society today, especially revolving around advertising. But look around you, hasn't this very concept seemed to have had a fountain of youth effect on us. We as a people have virtually stopped aging in its tracks. Even the oldest people look at least ten years younger than they actually are.   As a hairstylist I can attest to that fact. Hair color is the largest aspect of the beauty industry today, and has been for quite a while. Women (and men) no longer have to walk around with a big scarlet letter that says "I am over 50" anymore. With just a little color, a few highlights, and a stylish haircut the years really do melt off.
            Its funny when you actually stop and think about it. I know very few women who have gray or white hair. But I know many people in their 60's and 70's that are blonde or brunette and every shade in between.   However, even if you chose to defy aging and keep those grays covered, there are rules involved in order to look your best. I suppose the biggest one would be having an appropriate color that looks natural and fitting for your stage in life. We've all seen the woman in her 60's with the jet black hair. It doesn't look realistic. Even twenty year olds have more dimension to their hair. Hair cannot be one solid color because few people in life have hair that is one solid shade. Highlights and lowlights are an essential part of your color's integrity.  
            Another rule for coloring is that your hair should get lighter as you grow older.   That doesn't mean going gray, just going lighter. To understand why this rule exists you must first understand why hair turns gray in the first place.   Contrary to what your mother told you, you were not responsible for her gray hair. Hair color is determined by a chemical called melanin. Melanin is produced by specialized cells inside the hair follicle. There are types of melanin. For example pheomelanin gives hair a reddish or blondish coloring, while eumelanin gives hair a darker brownish or blackish hue. Genes determine which kinds of melanin you will produce, but as we age our bodies stop producing melanin. Without that chemical, our hair goes white.   I suppose you could compare it to a gas gauge on a car. When you are young and your tank is full, your hair color is bright and shiny and colorful. As you hit the halfway mark and the tank is emptying itself of melanin, your hair color starts to fade a little and doesn't look as fresh, then the grays come in just as your tank is getting low and then when the melanin is empty you are left white headed.   For this reason, when people choose to keep their hair colored, it cannot look natural if you are not moving towards lighter shades as the years progress.  The effect you are going for is to look your best and to give the impression that your hair hasn't exhausted its melanin due to age, however, at a certain stage of life your hair should look like it is spending some melanin, hence the lighter color. No one is going to believe a 60 year old woman with black hair, she might as well carry a sign that says she dyes it herself at home. Besides, just the aesthetic look of lighter hair appears more natural. Graying roots can give the false appearance of balding or thinning hair if the rest of the hair is too dark. No matter how often you color your roots there will always be some amount of visible new growth. This is why most women prefer to move more towards the blonde end of the color spectrum as they reach their 50's and 60's. Blonder hair disguises gray, so that new growth isn't going to be too noticeable in between hair appointments. 
            But what about those women who decide they want to stop fighting it and just go naturally gray? Well, there are some rules for that as well. You first have to determine what kind of gray hair do you have. Is it gray all over your head? Is it spotty in sections? Is it white, not gray? These answers will be important to know before you let the gray shine through. Spotty gray patches look weird, like a calico cat. White hair can be stunning, but it can also have a yellowish tint to it that looks almost like tea stains. My grandmother has white hair, beautiful white hair, but often I have to put a rinse on her white hair to get the sickly yellow out.   Although gray hair can sometimes require a salon's care as much as colored hair, on some women it can be regal and stunning. And on some it can make them appear much older than their chronological age.   Before you make the decision to go gray, ask your stylist what kind of gray hair you actually have.  It is very hard to go gray, then go back to color, without raising some eyebrows, so make sure you are willing to go all the way. If you get the green light for gray, go for it. Work out a plan with your stylist. There are going to be several bumpy parts to the road and you are going to need professional assistance waiting them out. For example, at some point you are going to have to get a shorter haircut in order to remove the older colored sections of your hair. But a saucy new haircut could be a great way to show the world that gray doesn't mean granny. You will also have to make conditioning treatments a regular part of your hair care regime. Gray hair tends to be dry and appear brittle. Treatments help restore moisture and shine.   Also be prepared for the shock. The image you are used to seeing stare back at you in the mirror is not going to be the same one that will be looking back after you go gray. But that doesn't mean it can't be just as beautiful. Remember what I always say, "Different doesn't mean bad." So many people get all freaked out when their appearance changes, evenly slightly, but that doesn't necessarily mean the change makes them look worse than before, just different. 
            Coloring the hair, or not coloring the hair isn't the only change that has separated generations. Women's cuts are so much more expressive and impressive in modern times. Again, looking back on the old family pictures it seemed like every woman past the age of 40 had some sort of Barbara Bush comb out. But today with the advent of extensions, straightening techniques, innovative shampoos, conditioners, and styling products, women in their 40's, 50's, 60's and up can have the luxurious hair that they may not have even had in their twenties. The hair possibilities today are staggering, and these choices are keeping us young. They always said that you are only as young as you feel, but now in the 21st century you can look as young as you feel as well. So we can cast stones at the youth-loving media all we want to, but because of it we can now stave off old age. We don't have to be "Sir'd" or "Ma'am'd" by someone five years younger than we are just because our hair makes us look older. We have the freedom to look as youthful and energetic as we want and the choice to embrace our gray if we so desire. The key word there is choice. We can choose now. Middle age or old age doesn't have to be foisted upon us as it did to those poor people in the old family albums. Now we get to decide.

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