Mother's Remorse

 

Dear Micah,
               I recently had a friend who died. A few months before she died she and her parents split up. There were years of conflict between them and my friend finally just wrote them out of her life so that she could have some peace. In the end she was so glad to have severed the relationship but because of that she died without making up with them. Now the Mom wants to get together with me to discuss my friend's last days. I don't want to do this because it's going to be awkward for me. I know the mom is going to address the rift and ask questions of me about what her daughter may have said and thought. I really don't want to get involved in their family squabble, especially now that my friend is dead and gone. What excuse can I make to not meet with this woman?
               Jeri
 
Dear Jeri,
               Just meet with the woman. It's really not asking too much, after all her daughter is dead. It's sad really. This woman's daughter died before she was ever able to settle their differences. All she really wants is some closure. This mom needs to hear you speak for her daughter and tell her that her daughter loved her. Just lie. Sometimes it's good to tell a lie. Tell this pitiful woman that her daughter missed her and loved her and regretted that the rift had gone so far. It doesn't matter if it isn't true, it's a nice thing to do to assuage some heavy guilt and ease some of the pain this poor mother is feeling. The right or wrongs of the situation do not matter anymore, just give this woman a smoother road ahead and help erase some of her pain. Tell her that her daughter loved and missed her.

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