The Friend That Got Away

Dear Micah,

I have a very dear friend that I have thought of as a sister. However, lately it seems like she is pulling away from me and we are growing apart. She has new friends that she is always on the go with and I feel left behind. I don't want to appear too needy or to make her feel guilty for having other friends, but I really do feel like I should say something. I am tired of being left out, especially by my best friend. How should I handle this?

Sister-less

Dear Sister-less,

A considerate and empathetic person would tell you that friends should always be honest with each other and you should feel free to explain your feelings to your friend and let her know how you are feeling. But I am not very considerate or empathetic and I am often abrasively honest. Like now. Your friend is over you. If she has pulled away and is now running around with a new group of people and not making any time for you, that means that she is not fulfilled by your company anymore. This doesn't mean that you are dull, although you might be-I don't know. But most likely your friendship has just run its course and she is ready for new experiences. I have had so many wonderful friends in my lifetime. Some have remained and some haven't, but they all were important to me and served a great purpose at different intervals of my life. I learned things from every one, and I hope they learned from me, but friends are not guaranteed to stay. Our interests and needs are not always moving in the same direction. Sometimes people just intersect for a moment, forge a bond and share their lives for a little while and then continue moving on their way in opposite directions. You say this friend has been like a sister to you. Obviously she has been an important factor in your life, but that doesn't mean that she has to perpetually remain one. Sometimes it's okay for friendships to fizzle out. Maybe it's time to allow this one to as well. Remember, you don't have to hold on to a person to appreciate their contribution to your life. Besides, maybe it's time you got to have some new experience too.

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