The Gamer's Mom

Dear Micah,

               I can't get my son to stop playing his video games to do anything. I have to fuss at him to get his homework done and he almost never does any of his chores. He just sits and plays his games. I've grounded him from the games but then he just plays them anyway when I'm not in his room or his father comes home and wants to play a game with him. I'm at a loss as to how to get through to him.

               J

Dear J,

               There is an interesting solution to this problem that I read about once in a parenting journal, it's called "ripping the device--cords and all--from the wall and TV and tossing the whole thing into the garbage." It's is also sometimes called, "telling your husband to stop acting like a child himself and get off his butt and start parenting and stop enabling a lazy kid." Sure, father/son time is great, but as a reward for completing tasks, not as a distraction from them. Homework comes first, even before playing with Dad. Tell your husband he had his day and it was called Atari.   Now if you don't want to throw away the expensive gaming equipment, then try this method:

               Unhook and dismantle everything and lock it all up in your closet. Tell your son that for every day of completed homework and chores, without attitude, he will receive a piece of the game. On the first day give him the game box itself. On the second day give him one of the controllers. Then on the third day give him one of the cords that connect to the TV, and so on until you finally give him the electrical cord that makes it all work. Hopefully enough days have passed to start him on a routine of coming home and doing his homework and chores and then he can play his games after. Oh, and one more addendum: the gaming devices are to be connected to the living room television. This will take it out of his bedroom and into the main part of the house under your supervision. It will also cause your son to spend less time alone and more time with the family. Then when it's time for family television viewing, the game will go off and your son will be with the family instead of locked away in his room .

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