"The Gift of Wine"

 

Dear Micah,
               I am a recovering alcoholic. I've kept that pretty secret except to my close friends which I guess was wrong to do because with Christmas coming, people keep giving me bottles of wine as gifts. Its rude to complain about a gift, but I have no use for alcohol now and don't know a tactful way to let people know so that they don't buy wine for me or so they can take the wine back and get me something else. 

John Doe

Dear John,
               One good way to stop it might have been signing your real name to your question, then it's all out there. I think you've realized one of the effects of keeping your recovery secret. You had every right to keep your personal struggles private, and you still do. If privacy was that important to you then it shouldn't change just because its Christmas. Yes, wine is a terrible gift to an alcoholic, but it was given in the spirit of love and friendship. Since you've never revealed to these people that you are indeed an alcoholic, it would be embarrassing to the giver to tell them at the moment they are presenting it to you. If possible, just accept the gift in the spirit in which it was given and you can dispose of it later. It doesn't sound as if these gifts are presenting any type of temptation for you, they are just an unwelcome nuisance. However, if these gifts are tempting you to drink then by all means refuse the gift on the spot. 
               My partner and I receive dozens of bottles of wine each year as gifts from friends and clients. My partner likes the occasional glass of wine, but I don't like wine at all, so we often take those bottles and re-gift them through the year. Whenever we are going to someone's house for dinner, we grab one of the wine bottles. It saves us a trip to the store, so in essence, that Christmas wine is the gift that keeps giving all year long. 
               But as long as we're on the subject of this let me give a suggestion to all the holiday gift givers out there--Be very careful of who you present alcohol to as a present. Somehow wine has become the go-to gift you give someone that you don't really know all that well. In my little ole opinion that's not terribly PC in this world of rehab and addiction especially during the season when we stress responsible drinking. Perhaps wine should stop being the go-to gift and maybe something less risky like cookies or a pie or a restaurant gift card would be more appropriate.

Return to Column >