The Northerner

Dear Micah

               I am new to the south. My husband and I lived in Deluth for a number of years and then he was transferred here. We like it down here very much but we are surprised at how many distinctions are made in regards to where we come from. Every time I am introduced to people the person feels compelled to reveal where I am from. Instead of just being Karen, I am now Karen from up north, or Karen from Minnesota, or, as a couple of people have said, I am Karen from St. Olaf, after the town referenced in Golden Girls. I grew up in Akron, Ohio I am not originally from Minnesota. So my question would be...when will this end and I be considered simply Karen? 
Karen From the North
 
Dear Linda,
               Never. You will never be just Karen unless you are able to somehow master the southern dialect in a way that blends you right in and no one would ever suspect that you aren't one of us. But don't let it bother you. Look at it this way, you get to be kind of mysterious. It can be intriguing being from another place. I'd encourage you to exaggerate your northerness. That could be your thing--the thing that sets you apart in the group, just like when a southerner goes up North and turns the accent up a notch and becomes even more southern to get attention. And what do you mean by "I grew up in Akron, Ohio..." Karen, Minnesota and Akron are practically the same thing to us down here. Just like Wyoming and Canada are the same thing. It's not here so it's there, and you will always be from there.  
               But if you really want to try and fit in, allow me to give you a few tips. Please don't call it pop or even soda. If you want a soft drink, ask for a Coke, then we'll ask you which kind of Coke you want, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew? Also, if a southern friend sees you out in public and says "I'll call you," don't wait on the call. That's our way of saying goodbye. On that same note, if anyone ever says, "Oh, it's so good to see you again, you're looking great! What have you been doing to look so good?" That is our way of stalling while we try to remember who in the world you are. 

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