The Romance Rut

Dear Micah,

               I have been looking for the right man, the one I am meant to be with, and every time I think I've found him he changes on me after a few months. I don't think that I am doing anything wrong, I am just the same way I have always been, but they change on me. All the affection and attention goes away and we are just left sitting together on a couch watching TV. I need the spontaneity and the flowers and the romance. Are there no guys out there that will give me that? Is there something I am doing that is causing them to fall into a rut? I am tired of picking guys that aren't what they seem. Help me.
Bored
Dear Bored,
               You aren't in a rut. He is happy and comfortable with you and you just want the excitement to never end. So here is what you have to do to keep that from happening...dump him and find a new man, then after two months, dump him and find a newer one, then dump him...I am not joking. This is seriously my advice.   You are not able to be happy with a single man. The spontaneity you require is only going to come from new men. That brand of impulsive romance comes only at the beginning when everything is new and you are both just getting to know each other and trying to make an impact on the other. Unfortunately, a relationship cannot remain at Stage One indefinitely; At some point the partners are going to get comfortable with each other and stop trying to impress and dazzle the other one. Your boyfriends keep transitioning to Stage Two of the relationship while you want them to stay stuck in Stage One. The only way to stay at that level is to change the partner with some frequency. Most people want that steady, stable partner that is happy to sit home with them, but you aren't like that. You want the whirlwind and the romance and the action and you are just not going to find a man who is going to hover at the romantic, giddy level forever. It's just not going to happen. So if you will accept that you are a love 'em and leave 'em kind of girl then you will be very happy. You will also be kind of a slut, but that just comes with the territory. 

 

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