Time to Tell

Dear Micah,

My kids are six and nine years old and they still believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. I was wondering how long I should expect them to keep believing and is there an age where I should just tell them? This past Christmas I was scared to death that my nine year old was going to figure it out and say something to me in front of the six year old.   I want them to believe as long as possible but I also don't want them to believe for too long and look uncool to their friends at school. With Easter on its way I am again worried that my older child is going to figure it out and spill the beans. How should I handle this?

Easter Mom

Dear Mom,

The Easter Bunny has always been the thing that I found the weirdest. I can buy the old man in the red suit, living in a cold climate, and making toys to pass the time; But a bunny rabbit dragging millions of baskets with plastic eggs and presents is just weird at any age. Who thought that one up anyway? And why stop at the bunny and Santa for gift giving holiday creatures? Why doesn't the ever elusive Sweet Gum Tree come swooping down and leave presents, pine cones, and little bottles of maple syrup for the good boys and girls on Arbor Day?   And why doesn't the ghost of President James K. Polk rise from the grave and deliver toys to all the good boys and girls on President's Day?   I know Linus has been trying to get the Great Pumpkin off the ground for several decades now with minimal success. It's just all very strange to me. But to answer your question, I wouldn't worry about the truth coming out at all. Let it all unfold naturally. So what if the older kid spills the beans to the younger? That'll just save you the worry that he or she is getting too old to still believe. I found out when I was six when my cousin told me. Honestly I am shocked at the ages of some kids who claim to still believe. At least they say they believe.   I really don't think that they do by the time they get around 10 or 11. I think that they think that it will disappoint their mothers and fathers if they don't pretend, or maybe they think the presents will stop when you no longer believe. A twelve year old is supposed to be pretty smart, so I really doubt any are walking around truly believing in Santa. At the very least they are questioning it. So your nine year old probably knows already and is just going along with it for the sake of your other child and you. You could talk to the parents of your nine year-olds friends. See if the other kids still believe, and if so maybe all you moms come up with an agreed upon time when you all tell your kids the truth. That way you can avoid the dreaded phone call from some random angry mom when your little Spencer has run to the school announcing that there is no Santa. The main thing is that you shouldn't get disheartened. You've had some fun years with Santa and the Easter Bunny. The holiday memories, presents, and fun don't have to stop just because the children find out. Look at it this way, you will finally get the credit you have deserved for the fantastic gifts!

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