Trashy Living

Dear Micah,

How can I get my husband to remember to take the trash out? He always forgets and even when I remind him, he manages to forget. It is making me angry. What can I do?

Sick of saying it

Dear Sick of Saying it,

Let the trash stay there. Wait until the house has just the right amount of stink to it, then invite your husband's friends and their spouses over for dinner. Once he sees his friends turning their noses up at how badly his house smells, he'll start remembering how important it is to take out the trash. If that fails, then start taking the trash out yourself, but instead of placing it out in the bin, put it in the back seat of his car. Do that every time he forgets. If that doesn't work then drive his mother out into the country. Stop on the side of the road to look at something. Get back in the car and leave her standing there. Later, at home, tell your husband that you'll let him know where she is only after he's taken the trash out. If that doesn't work, have sex with his brother. When he asks why you did it, tell him that your brother-in-law offered to take out the trash and that's all you the motivation you needed. If none of that works, then just divorce him and live alone. The only problem with that is that you'll end up having to take your trash out yourself anyway. So why not skip all of this and resign yourself to taking the trash out now. In the end, is it really such a big deal?

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