Why is it still beginning to look a lot like Christmas?

Dear Micah

               Would it be rude if I carefully removed my neighbor's Christmas greenery and lights from their porch railing and placed it neatly in a box on their porch. It's almost Easter. I don't want to see the Christmas stuff out anymore?

Christmas Police

Dear Officer in charge of Exterior Decor,

               I think you should take their Christmas garland and lights and wrap one end around their doorknob and the other around their porch railing and cinch it up really tight, making it impossible for them to open their door to exit their home. Then gather every man, woman, and child in the neighborhood and all of you surround their house and sing only the first section of Jingle Bells (in my opinion the most over-sung part of the most over-sung Christmas song ever). Sing it loudly and relentlessly. Do not stop until those neighbors have truly learned what is feels like to be sick of Christmas and to want it put away until next year. I am with you. In my neighborhood alone there are still two Christmas wreaths on doors, one mailbox display, and a couple of those tacky flags with some teddy bear in a red sweater holding a candy cane. And while we're on the subject how did teddy bears get to be an official Christmas character? The teddy bear didn't magically come to life when some kids gave him two eyes made out of coal. His nose doesn't light the way for Santa. And no wise men ever trekked miles across the desert to see a teddy bear laying in a manger. So I don't get his purpose. Regardless, its February people!!! Almost March! I could let Christmas decor slide if it were, say the second week in January and you had a death in the family. But when Groundhog Day rolls around you just have no excuses anymore. Get your Christmas decor back in your attic or basement. The only reason I can find that any sane person would still have Christmas up would be those with family in the war. But here's an idea. Keep your tree up inside all you want and the day he or she is coming back home from overseas then you can toss that wreath on the door. So thank you Christmas Police for your very important letter and for noticing how disturbing holiday decorations are after the holidays are over. You are right and if I had my sword, and any official authority at all, I would knight you for the observation.

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